Ron Lauzon wrote to Nightfox <=-

It's hard to get close to geeks in the first place. It's even harder
when many of them can't get together (too young, too old, too insecure, etc.). And it's pretty much impossible to make lasting friendships
without that contact.

We had at least quarterly get-togethers on NIRVANnet(tm), a local BBS
network where, for the most part, we were driving/transit distance to each other. We'd rotate locations so each BBS could "host" a location.

The first social hurdle was identifying a group of strangers in a cafe, we'd bring something to make us stand out, like my linesman's handset, a copy of 2600, anything. We'd still see people lurking outside, and unfortunately, a few of them wouldn't come in.

Once people dove in, they had a great time. For the socially timid, it was a place to interact with people they already knew and were similarly socially challenged.

Online rivalries often cooled when people met face-to-face. I've told the story of two of my users who *hated* each other online and ended up getting drunk together at the exclusion of almost everyong else, trying to convince the other that he was right - but in a loud, friendly way for once.


... Abandon desire
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Nightfox wrote to Ron Lauzon <=-

I've always been an introvert and into computers & such. I don't have
a large group of friends and sometimes feel a bit lonely. I went
through a divorce last year, and being by myself again has felt weird.

Sorry to hear about the divorce, I can relate to the contrast. I separated
in 2007, and remember being the last person at work, since I could. I
reached out to some old friends, one of the issues with marriage is
sometimes one partner's friends become the "marriage" friends - and when separating, they often feel they need to take sides.

I'm coming up on my son's 18th birthday, and the end of 14 years of paying child support. He's going to college and we're paying for it, though, so
it's a zero-sum equation. <shrug>

Facebook taught us that we should have 150+ "friends", and they were wrong.
1 or 2 good friends is perfect.


... Abandon desire
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* Origin: realitycheckBBS.org -- information is power. (21:4/122)

Re: Re: What do you get out o
By: poindexter FORTRAN to Nightfox on Mon Apr 12 2021 07:08 am

Sorry to hear about the divorce, I can relate to the contrast. I separated in 2007, and remember being the last person at work, since I could. I reached out to some old friends, one of the issues with marriage is sometimes one partner's friends become the "marriage" friends - and when separating, they often feel they need to take sides.

Yeah, that would be tough. We didn't have either of our friends who became the "marriage" friends, but I would imagine that would be hard.

Facebook taught us that we should have 150+ "friends", and they were wrong. 1 or 2 good friends is perfect.

I don't have many friends I talk to (or could talk to) on a regular basis, and often it seems like my friends and family are busy. Or maybe that's what I tell myself. I don't often reach out to people to talk a whole lot - sometimes I've wondered if I should have been reaching out to people more throughout my life. I feel especially alone when I'm going through a hard time.

Nightfox
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Win32
* Origin: Digital Distortion: digdist.synchro.net (21:1/137)

BY: poindexter FORTRAN(21:4/122)


|11pF|09> |10We had at least quarterly get-togethers on NIRVANnet(tm), a local BBS |07
|11pF|09> |10network where, for the most part, we were driving/transit distance to|07
|11pF|09> |10each |07
|11pF|09> |10other. We'd rotate locations so each BBS could "host" a location.|07
|11pF|09> |07
In my area, we had a monthly meeting. We called it C.A.U.S.E. - Columbia Area Users and SysOps Exchange. We met every month on a Sunday at a local restaurant. It was pretty easy to find the group, and the restaurants were nice enough to let us put up a sign pointing in our direction. Over the years, the location moved to various parts of town, and were usually pretty well attended.
It wasn't anything formal, just a casual get together to get to know each other and share stories.

I miss those days.

-Morgul

--- WWIV 5.7.0.development
* Origin: ** The Trading Post [SOUTH] BBS -=- Columbia, SC ** (21:1/207)

poindexter FORTRAN wrote to Ron Lauzon <=-

Once people dove in, they had a great time. For the socially timid, it
was a place to interact with people they already knew and were
similarly socially challenged.

Yup. I've been to a few "geek fests" in my day and we really open up
when surrounded by other geeks.

Online rivalries often cooled when people met face-to-face. I've told
the story of two of my users who *hated* each other online and ended up getting drunk together at the exclusion of almost everyong else, trying
to convince the other that he was right - but in a loud, friendly way
for once.

One problem with BBSs is that queues like body language don't translate well. Also, being with someone in person, who can hit you, tends to dampen things down. 8)


... Every step you take becomes a twist of fate.
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On 13 Apr 2021, Dr. What said the following...

Online rivalries often cooled when people met face-to-face. I've told the story of two of my users who *hated* each other online and ended getting drunk together at the exclusion of almost everyong else, tryi to convince the other that he was right - but in a loud, friendly way for once.

This is very true, I back in the day ran a sysOp group called ESA (Elite
SysOp Association) in my area, we had another hacker group which I can't remember the name of off the top of my head, I constantly argued with the leader of that group, we were at each other's throats all the time! Then I
went to a BBS get together at a local Nathans and I met the guy face to face, to be honest I was ready to take it outside as soon as he started his crap,
but I said one thing that quelled it all, I said to him buy me a hot dog and lets sit down and hack this crap out! 2 hours later we were headed to a bar down the street without the kiddies who were at the BBS get together and we became really good friends! Ah that's my story.. lol

--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A46 2020/08/26 (Windows/32)
* Origin: The Wrong Number Family Of BBS' - Wrong Number ][ (21:4/131)

On 12 Apr 2021 at 07:08a, poindexter FORTRAN pondered and said...

Facebook taught us that we should have 150+ "friends", and they were wrong. 1 or 2 good friends is perfect.

I totally agree with this.

--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A46 2020/08/26 (Windows/32)
* Origin: Agency BBS | Dunedin, New Zealand | agency.bbs.nz (21:1/101)

On 04-10-21 10:12, Dr. What wrote to Vk3jed <=-

I forced myself to get more social when I approached 40. I took up ballroom dancing - in for a penny, in for a pound, as the saying goes.

That's definitely a good way to become more social! :)

While I enjoy being social more, I don't crave it like some type of
people do.

Yeah, I do seek out social engagements - coffee catchups, radio and sporting clubs, and other events. More quiet casual things (OK, the sport is also serious competition ;) ), rather than all out parties.

... Lead me not into temptation, I can find my own way

True. ;)


... Married by a judge; should've asked for a jury. -Groucho
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Avon wrote to poindexter FORTRAN <=-

On 12 Apr 2021 at 07:08a, poindexter FORTRAN pondered and said...

Facebook taught us that we should have 150+ "friends", and they were wrong. 1 or 2 good friends is perfect.

I totally agree with this.

Yes indeed.


... Computer Hacker wanted. Must have own axe.
--- MultiMail
* Origin: Possum Lodge South * possumso.fsxnet.nz:7636/SSH:2122 (21:4/134)

Nightfox wrote to Morgul <=-

I had made maybe a couple friends back in the day from BBSing, but no long-lasting friendships, unfortunately.

In my early days of BBSing, I was in college and all the BBSs were run by college students. But we were all in the same computer club, so we knew
each other.

When I really called them a lot, they were all in the same area. But
there were few social events for BBS people. I remember one nice lady
who threw a big BBS Picnic every year. She checked out an "island" in
a local park.

But some BBSers were still kids. Others were really old. ALL were geeks
(and socially awkward). Interacting on BBSs was something that we were
all comforable with - and kept other people at arm's length, which is what we were comfortable with.

Later on, as we got more into Fidonet and the like, people were really geographically wide spread.

It's hard to get close to geeks in the first place. It's even harder when
many of them can't get together (too young, too old, too insecure, etc.).
And it's pretty much impossible to make lasting friendships without that contact.


... You are confused; but this is your normal state.
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Re: Re: What do you get out o
By: Ron Lauzon to Nightfox on Fri Apr 09 2021 09:15 am

It's hard to get close to geeks in the first place. It's even harder when many of them can't get together (too young, too old, too insecure, etc.). And it's pretty much impossible to make lasting friendships without that contact.

I've always been an introvert and into computers & such. I don't have a large group of friends and sometimes feel a bit lonely. I went through a divorce last year, and being by myself again has felt weird.

Nightfox
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Win32
* Origin: Digital Distortion: digdist.synchro.net (21:1/137)

On 04-09-21 09:15, Ron Lauzon wrote to Nightfox <=-

It's hard to get close to geeks in the first place. It's even harder
when many of them can't get together (too young, too old, too insecure, etc.). And it's pretty much impossible to make lasting friendships
without that contact.

Depends on the geek, I'm a notoriously social geek, so I'm not hard to get together - just need a suitable social event. :)


... I'm only paranoid because everyone's against me.
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Vk3jed wrote to Ron Lauzon <=-

Depends on the geek, I'm a notoriously social geek, so I'm not hard to
get together - just need a suitable social event. :)

I forced myself to get more social when I approached 40. I took up ballroom dancing - in for a penny, in for a pound, as the saying goes.

While I enjoy being social more, I don't crave it like some type of people do.

... Lead me not into temptation, I can find my own way
=== MultiMail/Linux v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS 21:1/194 bbs.dmine.net:24 (21:1/194)

Nightfox wrote to Ron Lauzon <=-

I've always been an introvert and into computers & such. I don't have
a large group of friends and sometimes feel a bit lonely. I went
through a divorce last year, and being by myself again has felt weird.

I hear you. I've been kind of a loner all my life. I guess that I just don't feel the loneliness anymore.

But I understand about the divorce. I only got married about 7 years ago.
But it would certainly feel weird to not have her underfood anymore.


... Me, indecisive? I don't think I am, do you?
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